Sunday Evening Thoughts

As is traditionally honored by God himself, I felt as though a Sunday evening of leisurely writing about random things that pop into my head would be an appropriate course of action for a blog. Especially on a day that features 1400 Peyton Manning commercials. Wouldn't want to miss a single one of those.


Personally, I say screw this New England-Indianapolis football game. I'm going to turn it to an episode of CSI where everyone's favorite father figure Grissom constantly Catholicizes forensics with his edgy "there are no patterns in life" approach to, well, ascertaining patterns and drawing conclusions from them.

Speaking of the NFL, one has to appreciate all these emotion-utilizing geniuses we call head coaches. Being able to manipulate someone to the point where their sympathetic nervous system takes over and deteriorates their capacity to rationally process what is going on with the higher-functioning areas of the brain is clearly the key to being a successful coach. Sure, they'll do stupid things by acting reflexively, like horsecollaring the hell out of every ballplayer and getting 50 yard pass interference penalties. Yeah, they'll line up out of position because of acting on behalf of the aggressive and fearful areas of their brain. But hey, at least they'll be motivated! These Bill Belichicks, Tony Dungys, and Coach Ks are clearly pathetic and evil, resorting to coldly calculating what is going to happen instead of relying on emotion and who has the biggest penis to decide the winner of the game.

While we're on the topic of penis, I was watching Dateline last night and Chris Hansen confronted some regretful pedophile who was explaining in a very lucid fashion his impulsive and abusive behaviors, and how he essentially felt he lacked the judgmental capacity to keep himself from acting on these impulses. Chris Hansen shows his clear moral superiority by rolling out the cameras in dramatic fashion so as to surprise our pedophile. The pedophile actually thanks Chris Hansen for the "kick in the nuts", obviously displaying how distraught his own course of actions made him feel. Then, our out of shape diabetic pedophile, clearly posing as a threat to the police, gets all out football tackled by 5 armed police officers when he has his arms raised in surrender.

All of this made me think to myself: this is what we need more of in society. Fighting abuse with abuse. Let's not operate on the rationale that these people need to be socially isolated in a jail-like segregated system because they cannot control their pathological impulses driven deeply by their biological predilections. Let's exemplify our moral superiority through deep condemnation of these individuals as evil rather than pathological, and abuse them so that they're so much more willing to act out and share this parasitic infection we know as abuse. Excellent idea.

Oh, did I mention the cops gave the pedophile diabetic shock and practically killed him? Yup, not a medical problem at all. No way can these other deficits in any way shape or form be linked to possible neurological deficits. Let's chair the guy.

Disclaimer to the layman: I do not in any way support or sympathize with pedophilia, nor do I believe these individuals should be released based on good jail behaviors. Social containment is the right course of action.