As is traditionally honored by God himself, I felt as though a Sunday evening of leisurely writing about random things that pop into my head would be an appropriate course of action for a blog. Especially on a day that features 1400 Peyton Manning commercials. Wouldn't want to miss a single one of those.
Personally, I say screw this New England-Indianapolis football game. I'm going to turn it to an episode of CSI where everyone's favorite father figure Grissom constantly Catholicizes forensics with his edgy "there are no patterns in life" approach to, well, ascertaining patterns and drawing conclusions from them.
Speaking of the NFL, one has to appreciate all these emotion-utilizing geniuses we call head coaches. Being able to manipulate someone to the point where their sympathetic nervous system takes over and deteriorates their capacity to rationally process what is going on with the higher-functioning areas of the brain is clearly the key to being a successful coach. Sure, they'll do stupid things by acting reflexively, like horsecollaring the hell out of every ballplayer and getting 50 yard pass interference penalties. Yeah, they'll line up out of position because of acting on behalf of the aggressive and fearful areas of their brain. But hey, at least they'll be motivated! These Bill Belichicks, Tony Dungys, and Coach Ks are clearly pathetic and evil, resorting to coldly calculating what is going to happen instead of relying on emotion and who has the biggest penis to decide the winner of the game.
While we're on the topic of penis, I was watching Dateline last night and Chris Hansen confronted some regretful pedophile who was explaining in a very lucid fashion his impulsive and abusive behaviors, and how he essentially felt he lacked the judgmental capacity to keep himself from acting on these impulses. Chris Hansen shows his clear moral superiority by rolling out the cameras in dramatic fashion so as to surprise our pedophile. The pedophile actually thanks Chris Hansen for the "kick in the nuts", obviously displaying how distraught his own course of actions made him feel. Then, our out of shape diabetic pedophile, clearly posing as a threat to the police, gets all out football tackled by 5 armed police officers when he has his arms raised in surrender.
All of this made me think to myself: this is what we need more of in society. Fighting abuse with abuse. Let's not operate on the rationale that these people need to be socially isolated in a jail-like segregated system because they cannot control their pathological impulses driven deeply by their biological predilections. Let's exemplify our moral superiority through deep condemnation of these individuals as evil rather than pathological, and abuse them so that they're so much more willing to act out and share this parasitic infection we know as abuse. Excellent idea.
Oh, did I mention the cops gave the pedophile diabetic shock and practically killed him? Yup, not a medical problem at all. No way can these other deficits in any way shape or form be linked to possible neurological deficits. Let's chair the guy.
Disclaimer to the layman: I do not in any way support or sympathize with pedophilia, nor do I believe these individuals should be released based on good jail behaviors. Social containment is the right course of action.
Sunday, November 4, 2007
Braces for Relationships
It starts with you buying her a drink. Normally you wouldn’t have the marbles for that, but for some strange reason she seems into you – and you know it. You’re hitting it off, some of your “Did it hurt?” pickup lines are actually making her laugh. A few drinks at the club turn into a few at your place. If only you were always this charming.
Two weeks, 400 text messages, 32 condoms and 12 arguments later, you’ve already fallen in and out of love. In those two short weeks you experienced the best and worst moments of your dating career.
And you used to be such a nice guy.
Heartbroken, you spill your sob story to the guys -- with dignity.
To your surprise, they’ve all dated this girl, or at least one like her.
So, what causes people to get sucked into this cycle in the first place?
,
These days “healthy” is a term used to describe our relationships with others, a term that is in a lot of ways synonymous with balance. However, health in the media usually refers to how comfortable you feel.
I’m not going to waste your time on a blog about that kind of "health". Instead, we’re going to look at what’s happening neurologically and psychologically with our fictional heartbreaker over the course of the two weeks this Romeo and Juliet scene plays out:
During the intense moments of passion shared by the star-crossed lovers, blood flow increases to the emotional areas of her brain, which causes the heart rate, blood flow, and hormonal production to skyrocket. While this all makes for great moments of passion, overall it is not very different from stress itself. It starts with the initial excitement of the body, followed by a period of coping and finally the exhaustion of the body itself.
In a way, one could say it kills her; it erodes the potential for her to be both healthy and happy by stressing the body to the extreme.
Being happy, neurologically speaking, is NOT simply excitation of the emotional areas of the brain, but rather a nominal, often reduced level of blood flow here, as well as balanced levels of dopamine and serotonin ((Goetz, 1999) ).
Many women and men perceive these intense interpersonal flings as real or true happiness. Ironically, to them they really are "real”. So what causes these people to require such exciting (and simultaneously abusive) stimuli in the first place?
Often times what you’ll find is that they were traumatized at a young developing age. Rather than needing a myspace to save these wondrous memories forever, the interpretation and consolidation of memories pervasively gets wired into the brain and as a result, a personality of trauma and chaos is born. Because of this, they might only feel comfortable (or in familiar territory) in this cycle.
I say cycle because once this situation exhausts itself, it will eventually repeat once the energy is there for it to do so. This problem is pervasive. Early wiring (learning) dictates the most important aspects of who you are going to be. Due to this, things that are traumatic but familiar during childhood are often sought later on in life.
A major obstacle for the girl in our story (and others who have this psychopathology) is how attractive she happens to be. The biggest obstacle for women with a medusa-like allure to them (the ability to turn a particular male body part to stone, if you get what I mean) is that they are not going to have the same opportunity for healthy relationships as those who are not as physically enticing. Confusing, right?
Let me break it down for you. An attractive female will have the leisure of repeating this cycle more often than her less attractive peers for obvious reasons. This does nothing to encourage stable (healthy) physiological responses and interpersonal relationships. For all intents and purposes, the modern day Curse of Medusa doesn't turn the men to stone, it turns Medusa to stone.
The moral of this story for all of you who can relate to our fictional Romeo and Juliet is that if he or she is intensively attractive to you, and you happen to have a sordid past, chances are they probably aren't a healthy influence. Take a lesson from the sour taste this leaves, and go with broccoli rather than the Whopper that will give you heart disease.
Two weeks, 400 text messages, 32 condoms and 12 arguments later, you’ve already fallen in and out of love. In those two short weeks you experienced the best and worst moments of your dating career.
And you used to be such a nice guy.
Heartbroken, you spill your sob story to the guys -- with dignity.
To your surprise, they’ve all dated this girl, or at least one like her.
So, what causes people to get sucked into this cycle in the first place?
,
These days “healthy” is a term used to describe our relationships with others, a term that is in a lot of ways synonymous with balance. However, health in the media usually refers to how comfortable you feel.
I’m not going to waste your time on a blog about that kind of "health". Instead, we’re going to look at what’s happening neurologically and psychologically with our fictional heartbreaker over the course of the two weeks this Romeo and Juliet scene plays out:
During the intense moments of passion shared by the star-crossed lovers, blood flow increases to the emotional areas of her brain, which causes the heart rate, blood flow, and hormonal production to skyrocket. While this all makes for great moments of passion, overall it is not very different from stress itself. It starts with the initial excitement of the body, followed by a period of coping and finally the exhaustion of the body itself.
In a way, one could say it kills her; it erodes the potential for her to be both healthy and happy by stressing the body to the extreme.
Being happy, neurologically speaking, is NOT simply excitation of the emotional areas of the brain, but rather a nominal, often reduced level of blood flow here, as well as balanced levels of dopamine and serotonin ((Goetz, 1999) ).
Many women and men perceive these intense interpersonal flings as real or true happiness. Ironically, to them they really are "real”. So what causes these people to require such exciting (and simultaneously abusive) stimuli in the first place?
Often times what you’ll find is that they were traumatized at a young developing age. Rather than needing a myspace to save these wondrous memories forever, the interpretation and consolidation of memories pervasively gets wired into the brain and as a result, a personality of trauma and chaos is born. Because of this, they might only feel comfortable (or in familiar territory) in this cycle.
I say cycle because once this situation exhausts itself, it will eventually repeat once the energy is there for it to do so. This problem is pervasive. Early wiring (learning) dictates the most important aspects of who you are going to be. Due to this, things that are traumatic but familiar during childhood are often sought later on in life.
A major obstacle for the girl in our story (and others who have this psychopathology) is how attractive she happens to be. The biggest obstacle for women with a medusa-like allure to them (the ability to turn a particular male body part to stone, if you get what I mean) is that they are not going to have the same opportunity for healthy relationships as those who are not as physically enticing. Confusing, right?
Let me break it down for you. An attractive female will have the leisure of repeating this cycle more often than her less attractive peers for obvious reasons. This does nothing to encourage stable (healthy) physiological responses and interpersonal relationships. For all intents and purposes, the modern day Curse of Medusa doesn't turn the men to stone, it turns Medusa to stone.
The moral of this story for all of you who can relate to our fictional Romeo and Juliet is that if he or she is intensively attractive to you, and you happen to have a sordid past, chances are they probably aren't a healthy influence. Take a lesson from the sour taste this leaves, and go with broccoli rather than the Whopper that will give you heart disease.
American Gangster
You know what is sorely lacking in Hollywood? Gangster movies where the Gangster wins.
Unfortunately, American Gangster didn’t fill this void for me.
For those who don’t know, American Gangster is a crime film that stars Denzel Washington and the actor from Gladiator. The film is based on the rise and fall of real life gangster Frank Lucas.
In the movie, Frank Lucas follows the traditional path of a Hollywood gangster. He’s smart, ruthless, and resourceful – yet not smart, ruthless, or resourceful enough to escape the non-acting mojo that is Russell Crowe.
As the inevitable drug bust scene started to unfold, I was trying to convince myself that my man Denzel would manage to get away and somehow kill Russell Crowe’s character. Then I wouldn’t have to listen to his nails-on-a-chalkboard rendition of a New York accent any longer.
The movie was fun to watch and kept my attention. This is quite an accomplishment considering I have ADHD.
But I digress.
If I were writing the script for a movie where the drug kingpin gets away, it would be difficult for a number of reasons.
Criminals who are getting away with criminal activity aren’t telling their story. And they probably wouldn’t be open to sharing with a skinny white kid in his early 20’s.
How cool would it be if I had a true story to use?
Imagine this with me: Thousands of people driving home from the opening night of my picture. Boyfriends look to their significant other and say “You know, if I knew that all we had to do was hide the smack just past your sphincter, I would have been smuggling the horse years ago. This Geo could have been a Benz if we just got creative. I can think of a few other places that nobody would ever want to search…”
The Drug Enforcement Agency might take issue with me showing America how to get away with smuggling drugs, but they won’t be nearly as upset as the inspired movie goers telling their doctors why they need a new tube of prescription strength hemorrhoid cream 4 times a month.
I give American Gangster 7 out of 10 “Drop-In Stars”.
I give my conceptual movie that inspires crack dropings 9/10.
Bonus Drinking Game – Bring some liquor to the theatre and drink every time someone in the movie says “My man”. You’ll be fading faster than you can say “No Australian should ever attempt a New York accent”.
Unfortunately, American Gangster didn’t fill this void for me.
For those who don’t know, American Gangster is a crime film that stars Denzel Washington and the actor from Gladiator. The film is based on the rise and fall of real life gangster Frank Lucas.
In the movie, Frank Lucas follows the traditional path of a Hollywood gangster. He’s smart, ruthless, and resourceful – yet not smart, ruthless, or resourceful enough to escape the non-acting mojo that is Russell Crowe.
As the inevitable drug bust scene started to unfold, I was trying to convince myself that my man Denzel would manage to get away and somehow kill Russell Crowe’s character. Then I wouldn’t have to listen to his nails-on-a-chalkboard rendition of a New York accent any longer.
The movie was fun to watch and kept my attention. This is quite an accomplishment considering I have ADHD.
But I digress.
If I were writing the script for a movie where the drug kingpin gets away, it would be difficult for a number of reasons.
Criminals who are getting away with criminal activity aren’t telling their story. And they probably wouldn’t be open to sharing with a skinny white kid in his early 20’s.
How cool would it be if I had a true story to use?
Imagine this with me: Thousands of people driving home from the opening night of my picture. Boyfriends look to their significant other and say “You know, if I knew that all we had to do was hide the smack just past your sphincter, I would have been smuggling the horse years ago. This Geo could have been a Benz if we just got creative. I can think of a few other places that nobody would ever want to search…”
The Drug Enforcement Agency might take issue with me showing America how to get away with smuggling drugs, but they won’t be nearly as upset as the inspired movie goers telling their doctors why they need a new tube of prescription strength hemorrhoid cream 4 times a month.
I give American Gangster 7 out of 10 “Drop-In Stars”.
I give my conceptual movie that inspires crack dropings 9/10.
Bonus Drinking Game – Bring some liquor to the theatre and drink every time someone in the movie says “My man”. You’ll be fading faster than you can say “No Australian should ever attempt a New York accent”.
Saturday, November 3, 2007
Tips for Individuation
Since people use interpersonal relations to develop who they are as a person, I figure I'd throw out some tips that everyone should be aware of before idealizing someone.
Note: If I had this guide at 18 I wouldn't have sucked at life for so long.
1. Pick someone successful
Pick someone successful to model yourself after.
If you're in high school, DON'T pick someone 'socially' successful because the people who "win" the social statuses in high school end up losing in life.
Take it from those who have been there and done that - The studly quarterback on the varsity football team is the future greasy overweight UPS Delivery Driver of your home town.*
Don't go strictly on a 'pro hominem' basis when deciding who to appreciate. Use logic and decide which traits are the strongest or most appealing.
Take what you like, reject what you don't. One person may be a good person to model when it comes to how they treat their peers, but the same person could go home and beat their kids for all you know.
*Over generalization - obviously not always the case.
2. Do NOT be ad populum.
Be skeptical of the majority opinion - I've often felt that conventional thinking is deeply flawed.
For example, just because Brett Favre is appreciated by millions doesn't mean the key to true fulfillment in life is being the quarterback for the Green Bay Packers (6-1 so far this season btw).
Another example would be Britney Spears. Just because Miss Spears is experiencing incredible sales of her new album Blackout doesn't mean that the only way to sell a lot of albums is to become a psycho and the focus of every major celebrity magazine.
3. When choosing a mate, ask yourself this question
Am I better off, am I healthier, both physically and mentally, by involving myself with them?
Take a step back and analyze your behavior when you're together. Does seeing them almost invariably induce stress? Trust your physical response.
4. This is KEY: everything someone says is a statement about them
Everything.
General example: if someone has a problem with your sexual preferences and feels the need to voice it, this can be a sign of their insecurity and/or need to control their environment. Accept this for what it is, and use it to build a schematic that explains who they are as a person.
Perhaps a major influence in their life acted in this same way, and that person is insecure about their sexuality. Maybe they've had family members who relate to that sexual preference and are angry about it.
Critically analyzing this allows you to better understand the people around you, and arguably more important, what to expect from them.
5. People (actually, all primates) prefer comfort and security over truth.
It's more comfortable for some to accept that the American Government, being one of the last superpowers in existence, is responsible for the death of thousands on September 11th than it is to accept that a couple dozen members of a disgruntled societal group are.
This also ties into my final point,
6. People like simplicity.
Simplicity means if the equation is big, there must be a big cause.
Exhibit A: 9/11 Conspiracy Theorists.
Exhibit B: I'm a big deal. There must be some anthropomorphic entity that made me who I am and cares about the intricate details of my every day activities! (i.e. Religion)
Closing Tips
Develop relations in person. Have real, inciteful debating through text. This will prevent you from developing problems with the people around you.
I've found that the internet is a useful tool for debate. In my opinion, the Internet is truly an evolution of interpersonal communication. Some of the most honest and personal conversations I've had have been with people I've never met.
Many have said that math is the language of the universe and thus, everything is math. Use scientific evidence in addition to your experiences to form your own conclusions.
Understanding these principles should help you on your way to becoming a secure individual.
Good luck.
Note: If I had this guide at 18 I wouldn't have sucked at life for so long.
1. Pick someone successful
Pick someone successful to model yourself after.
If you're in high school, DON'T pick someone 'socially' successful because the people who "win" the social statuses in high school end up losing in life.
Take it from those who have been there and done that - The studly quarterback on the varsity football team is the future greasy overweight UPS Delivery Driver of your home town.*
Don't go strictly on a 'pro hominem' basis when deciding who to appreciate. Use logic and decide which traits are the strongest or most appealing.
Take what you like, reject what you don't. One person may be a good person to model when it comes to how they treat their peers, but the same person could go home and beat their kids for all you know.
*Over generalization - obviously not always the case.
2. Do NOT be ad populum.
Be skeptical of the majority opinion - I've often felt that conventional thinking is deeply flawed.
For example, just because Brett Favre is appreciated by millions doesn't mean the key to true fulfillment in life is being the quarterback for the Green Bay Packers (6-1 so far this season btw).
Another example would be Britney Spears. Just because Miss Spears is experiencing incredible sales of her new album Blackout doesn't mean that the only way to sell a lot of albums is to become a psycho and the focus of every major celebrity magazine.
3. When choosing a mate, ask yourself this question
Am I better off, am I healthier, both physically and mentally, by involving myself with them?
Take a step back and analyze your behavior when you're together. Does seeing them almost invariably induce stress? Trust your physical response.
4. This is KEY: everything someone says is a statement about them
Everything.
General example: if someone has a problem with your sexual preferences and feels the need to voice it, this can be a sign of their insecurity and/or need to control their environment. Accept this for what it is, and use it to build a schematic that explains who they are as a person.
Perhaps a major influence in their life acted in this same way, and that person is insecure about their sexuality. Maybe they've had family members who relate to that sexual preference and are angry about it.
Critically analyzing this allows you to better understand the people around you, and arguably more important, what to expect from them.
5. People (actually, all primates) prefer comfort and security over truth.
It's more comfortable for some to accept that the American Government, being one of the last superpowers in existence, is responsible for the death of thousands on September 11th than it is to accept that a couple dozen members of a disgruntled societal group are.
This also ties into my final point,
6. People like simplicity.
Simplicity means if the equation is big, there must be a big cause.
Exhibit A: 9/11 Conspiracy Theorists.
Exhibit B: I'm a big deal. There must be some anthropomorphic entity that made me who I am and cares about the intricate details of my every day activities! (i.e. Religion)
Closing Tips
Develop relations in person. Have real, inciteful debating through text. This will prevent you from developing problems with the people around you.
I've found that the internet is a useful tool for debate. In my opinion, the Internet is truly an evolution of interpersonal communication. Some of the most honest and personal conversations I've had have been with people I've never met.
Many have said that math is the language of the universe and thus, everything is math. Use scientific evidence in addition to your experiences to form your own conclusions.
Understanding these principles should help you on your way to becoming a secure individual.
Good luck.
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